Dear Heart Mama,
We’re currently traveling on a road that’s anything but straight and smooth. It comes with bumps, loose gravel, potholes, hills, sometimes mountains. Our biggest achievements involve not crashing when we go shooting down the other side at full speed. Often times we go to take a right turn and we take a left. We frequently end up stuck in a round about wondering which exit will get us out the quickest, or maybe we are looking for the safe exit, terrified what happens if we take the wrong one. Many of us drive round and round trying different exits and still end up back in that vicious round about cycle.
Our emotions no longer have boundaries. We can go from happy to furious to blubbering in a five second span. Our love is insurmountable, it also has no boundaries, and that’s what keeps us going. We feel things deeply, often much deeper then we would like. This helps and hurts us all in one fell swoop.
We can handle punches thrown at us, often getting our guard up just in time. Sometimes we just take it, because sometimes we are just too exhausted to fight, and that’s ok. We pack quite a hefty punch of our own, I wouldn’t want to be in the path of that swing, even on a good day.
We are strong, determined, and fierce. We cheer for our children and we fight along side them, we are their biggest cheerleaders and their strongest advocates. We need to be and we want to be.
We have learned the power of prayer, we hold it high, and we value those that include us in their prayers. We pray for each other and with each other. Acknowledging the new family and support God has blessed us with.
Our responses often hold sarcasm. We cope by faking a smile, a laugh, or joking it off. This is how we have accepted it. While we hate CHD and the pain it causes us and most around us, this is what we have been given. We have been chosen by God. We have been given the most precious of gifts for whatever amount of time he will let us keep them. In time we adapt to this way of life, we have to, it’s how we survive it.
The heart mamas I’ve met, they’re like no other. They’re loving, kind, encouraging, gentle, gracious, giving. They understand pain, often because they have lived through it.
There’s a special heart mama I know, her baby has wings, he’s playing with Jesus. While she still grieves, she has turned it into hope for others. She honors him, she sets an example, and she helps others through the legacy he left. She’s admirable. She’s a heart mama.
Wether you’ve been a heart mama for years or you’re new to this, you’re not alone. We’re here. We’re all here. We’ve been where you are, where you’re going, and if we haven’t, we’ll most likely get there eventually.
I learned quickly that the anger and sorrow can consume you if you let it. Don’t stay angry at CHD, you can’t control it. But you can embrace it. Embrace CHD head on. Embrace this beautiful family of heart mamas that are here to cry with you, cheer with you, and pray with you.
Don’t give up. You are not alone.
Charlie’s Heart Mama