To Our Family Physician

You wonder why we need you?

You ask why we came?

I’ve usually predicted the diagnoses.

So often it’s the same.

 

For 9 years you’ve put up with me.

When everyone else said, “we can’t help you anymore.”

I brought challenges before you,

And you never showed me the door.

 

It was different when it was just me,

I only wanted my pain to stop.

Today I bring you my family,

I’d gladly add their pain on top.

 

With my family comes new challenges,

Often ones you wouldn’t expect.

You take time to address each issue ,

And you show me the utmost respect.

 

Many times I question you,

The choices that you make.

But the reason that I choose you,

My input you always take.

 

You praise me as a mother.

You reassure me that I’m right.

When many others question me,

You don’t put up a fight.

 

You rise above the bar I’ve set  (believe me, it’s pretty high.)

Every time we see you, or talk on the phone;

You answer all my questions,

You let me know I’m not alone.

 

So when you question why we need you.

My answer will always be the same.

Your dedication and care, cannot be compared.

And it’s always been that way, since the first day that I came.

Amazing Kids Jump for Charlie

Today I found myself brought to tears by two kids. Kids can be so wonderfully selfless and kind. They can see opportunity without even trying. And without trying to, they show love and support to those that need it most. These two kiddos I speak of have such big hearts and that has led them to Charlie’s heart. 

This year Jaxton and Makena will be participating in Jump Rope for Heart. They have both chosen to Jump in honor of Charlie. The money they raise will be supporting the American Heart Association. I am including links to both kid’s fundraising pages. I hope you would consider supporting them in honor of Charlie. 

I want to personally thank these two for showing their love to Charlie. He will know about this one day, and he will thank you for supporting him. Keep up the good work kids, you’re doing a great thing and we are so honored that you choose to Jump for Charlie. We love you both! 

Jaxton’s Jump Rope for Heart
Makena’s Jump Rope for Heart 

It Doesn’t Phase Me

On three separate occasions today I found myself thinking, “it doesn’t phase me”. I wondered if that’s good, bad, indifferent? I wonder what others think by my obvious lack of reaction to things.

On my first occasion I was stopping by the pharmacy. I saw a couple I know with their sweet little boy. He had an ear infection. She so kindly asked how Charles was. I said without a flinch, “he’s got some stuff again, he’s on antibiotics like usual.” And I graciously nudged Charles forward as I said, “you don’t want to get him sick”, as he repeated “baby, baby” numerous times, in awe of someone similar in size. We walked to the counter where the bright eyed pharmacy technician greeted us, “Hey Charlie!” She grabbed out his medications, two large bags filled with breathing medications. We followed formalities and headed towards the door.

Charles’ eyes once again caught the baby, as he repeated numerous times, “baby, baby”. This time he was in my arms and a good distance away so I stopped to let him admire. I caught the eyes of the man I know, sitting there. I wondered what he was looking at as I talked with his wife. He’d briefly look up to Charlie and then back down. I was curious but didn’t think much of it. We wished the baby get well and we left.

Later in the car I realized exactly what he was staring at, as I loaded in my sweet boy, and then his diaper bag, and then, his two large bags of medications. They didn’t phase me. To me they have become a normal piece of life, a vital one. One that we use so regularly and pick up so often. The first few times they phased me, the last time we got an increase in medications they phased me a little. And today, I realized, they no longer do. Today they became “normal”.

On a second occasion today we had a delivery driver come to our door, I know him well, and we ask of each others children. He told me a story about his son, involving blood. While I’ve never been put off by blood, I can’t say I’ve ever been comfortably in a conversation about it. I mean, really, who speaks about blood on a regular basis? Well, turns out, I do. Quite frequently at that. I can speak of INR (international normalized ratio), hemoglobin, CBC (complete blood count), hemolysis, blood leaking, blood clotting, how to clot it, how to pressure dress it, and on and on and on. And what I realized today, that’s not normal. You know what else I learned? It is now “normal” for me.

And on a third occasion. Charles, as he often does, began to cough. This current spell of illness had not yet graced us with the presence of vomit, notice how I said ‘had’ and ‘yet’. I watched him as he coughed productively, and then began to gag, and proceeded to launch every bit of greek yogurt onto the carpet. I then chuckled as he in Charlie style, put his hands up and said, “why?” (So glad I taught him that.) I replied, “yes, why?” and he proceeded to cough and throw up again, back the other direction. I grabbed him and moved to the kitchen linoleum to remove his dirty (put on clean 5 minutes prior) jammies.  I asked his Dad to get him new jammies so I could take care of the carpet, because get what? It doesn’t phase me, it does phase Dad. The entire situation, from the coughing, to the vomiting, to the cleaning up. It now is “normal”. I simply comment, “we’ll probably need to start prednisone soon”. What’s even more, is it doesn’t phase Charles. He went right on back to playing as though nothing had just come flying out of him.

I can’t say that I am no longer phased by anything, because believe me, this kid comes with some real humdingers. I can say that every time I realize how little it phases me, I feel that much more comfort. Comfort you ask? Yes, comfort. I am reassured that I know my child, that I can care for him, and I know the next steps. I don’t need to run to a doctor or call and ask questions every single time. Because I know him, I know him better then anyone.

Don’t get me wrong, there will be things I don’t know. Like tonight, when I heard this crazy loud, heart murmur clicking sound, I definitely thought I would have to call as it got louder and louder the closer I got to him. Until I found his toy remote under his four wheeler with the battery going dead. (Laugh, it’s funny.)

I would hope, that in many aspects of life we could all get to the “it doesn’t phase me” stage. For me that stage brings comfort, assurance, and success. I know that getting to that stage was extremely difficult, every climb to get there is challenging, but every time you get a little higher, it’s fulfilling. So no matter what your personal struggle may be, keep climbing, until it doesn’t phase you.