Have I ever told you how much I love vomit in my car? No? Well, apparently I forgot to tell Charlie that it is, in fact, NOT, a favorite thing of mine.

Last night I came home to a child with a blazing fever. Okay, so what’s new? Give the Tylenol, retake the temp, get some rest. The boy wouldn’t go to bed til midnight! Mylanta, I also must have neglected to inform him that we needed to be up by 5am, to get ready for his appointment. My bad.

Once he was out, he was out, for a whopping 5 hours…luckily someone has a chauffeur while they sleep in the car, the entire drive. Not sure why you’d want to sleep through my concert? But whatever I guess, the show must go on.

Appointment time! We’ve waited 2 months for this appointment, we want results, we need some insight. Charlie cooperates 110%. We leave feeling optimistic, minus the ear infection, which I already assumed was the issue from last night.

The next appointment for the day isn’t for a few hours, bam, impromptu trip to the zoo on this gorgeous day! GPS, show me the way…

Enter the voice of Charlie’s Asthma (if you’ve never heard it, picture the devil on your shoulder, with a raspy voice, and an evil laugh like Cruella). “Oh, are we going through a tunnel surrounded by traffic? There’s no way your mom can pull over? This sounds like a solid time to attack you, make you lose your breath, and cause you to vomit profusely. Yep, just like that. Oh, wait, a little more. Oh, are you upset now. Oh, and your mom handed you the vomit tray now. My work here is done.”

Seriously, seriously? Again? In the car? Stuck in traffic? AGAIN?!

So the Zoo is out, GPS reroute me to Target please…

And right when I feel that God is completely using me to his own humor (I like to amuse people so why not.) The glimmer of light flickers on in my brain…

There is a benefit to friends, who spend equally as much time as you, in the cities for appointments. Often those days collide. And when you are most desperately in need of a car seat you don’t have to buy, they come to your aid as they arrive for appointments.

“I’m in Bloomington, meet you in the parking ramp.” Hallelujah!

Next call, ring ring. “Children’s Psychology.”

“Yeah, we are suppose to come at one. But my son just threw up in my car. So,I’m gonna go with we have to cancel.” I’ve only been waiting a month for that appointment…no big deal (eye roll 10x).

Now, you feel like this story is over. Oh, it’s not. Now we have to take out vomit covered child, the NEW car seat from the last time he threw up (that is now, equally soiled in a whole lot of Nasty), and son of a bitch… Remember when I set aside the leather seats for low miles and less cost? Yeah, me too, it’s pretty painful right now. As I’m scrubbing out my cloth seat.

Oh and my child is stripping on the roof of the parking ramp, because his clothes are icky, and apparently I’m not the octopus Mom he needs at this moment. So, I guess we’re doing this RIGHT now. Fortunately, following, he decided to “drive” my car, while I cleaned the rest.

Courtney to the Rescue! A little manipulation of placement, shove Mya’s seat to the back, where it looked like it should easily slide between the ceiling and the seat, oh it didn’t. Because why would it? Click here, tighten there, wallah! Insert child. “Here, why don’t you just hold the vomit tray this time.”

Are you laughing? Do you not carry vomit trays in your car? Hmm, didn’t realize how weird that was. One day, when you don’t have one, and you need one, you’ll remember this, and wish you were in my car, where there are vomit trays.

Oh, look at that, someone gets two more hours of sleep while his chauffeur drives.

And we’re back to town. Seriously it’s only 12:30? This is currently in competition for the longest day ever.

Hit the pharmacy. Where customer drive through etiquette was not on point, clearly they do not come here often…amateurs. Stellar pharmacy service, as per usual. Charlie downed two suckers while he waited for his new prescription to be filled. Everyone’s happy, because Charlie’s happy. Man that kid and his infectiousness. The good kind, not all of his nasty…

Almost done, promise.

Home sweet home. Or not, because now is when I have to actually dismantle the car seat and clean it. Remember when I had to put the car seat together in the Target parking lot? A little shoving, wiggling, sitting on it? Well let me tell you, that dismantling, was no easy chore either (face palm).

Ok, that one is done. Now, the original seat, was never put back together. Remember I left that one to Joe to clean up? Yeah, that’s painful too.

So the cloth is clean because it went in the wash machine…but guess what didn’t get scrubbed?

What is as disgusting as fresh vomit? The dry vomit in the cracks of the buckles and existed on the straps from almost 2 months ago. (Cringe.) Lysoled that baby like a boss.

When your friend knows you do everything #likeaboss, even clean vomit, the get you this to remind you.

Now, this has only solidified why I do things myself OR it was a well played effort on Joe’s part to get out of ever being asked to do that job again. Remember, Joe doesn’t do vomit. He gags, a lot.

Now, what have we learned from this experience?

1. Instead of thinking to bring and extra seat and not doing it, I will keep 2 car seats in the vehicle on ALL trips out of town.

2. I have already hit up Amazon Prime for a rubber seat protector for under Charlie’s car seat.

3. Remembering to pack baby wipes last night was an intelligent plan.

4. Carrying Lysol wipes on hand at all times IS a necessity and should be continued.

5. Choose the correct friends so you don’t have to buy new car seats every month.

6. Find a solid car detailer, push for insurance to cover car detailing, and until then, I will be accepting donations to have my vehicle detailed. 😉

You can choose to let the storm take you under, or you can choose to become it. ~#iwearredforcharlie