Where I’d Be

If you would have asked me 10 years ago where I thought I’d be on this day. I would have told you that I would be married with children. We would have a nice happy life. My husband and I would be going to work to support our family. We would spend our night at our children’s events and have family supper. We would be happily in love with the occasional bickering as to be expected. We would be your “normal” family. 

In reality what I’m doing today. Today I’m in an ambulance with my son for the second time in two weeks. Today I’m continuing to mourn the loss of my Papa who stuck around just long enough for me to get out of the hospital, to come watch him pass. Today I’m tired. Except that’s an understatement. I’m exhausted. I’m emotionally and physically and completely drained. And yet, I got up this morning and I got my child to the ER and I demanded that ambulance to the cities. 

Despite every ounce and shred of nothing that I feel like right now. I can do this. I’ve been doing this. I will continue to do this. 

This is my today. And while it’s not the today I would have expected 10 years ago, it’s the today I’m going to get. This is the day that God made for me. There’s a lesson in here. 

Yesterday my Mom and I joked that I had more balls then 6 men. Sorry, it’s out there, it’s true. And when all of this started she said to me, “GOD chooses special moms for these babies. Moms that know just what they need and can deal with the challenges with His help. I truly believe that Shelby.”

10 years ago I believed in God. Today, I know that I can do nothing without God. 

“I walk with Jesus all the way,

His guidance never fails me;

Within his wounds I find a stay

When Satan’s power assails me;

And by his footsteps led,

My path I safely tread.

No evil leads my soul astray;

I walk with Jesus all the way.”

By Hans A. Brorson 

3 thoughts on “Where I’d Be

  1. Lindsay says:

    You are one tough cookie!! “God gives his toughest battles to his strongest warriors !” And you my dear are as strong as they come!

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  2. Diane Whittington says:

    I totally lost it reading this. You are an amazing mom, and your kids deserve no less. Your instincts are always right on, your love for your kids shines through in everything you do. I agree with your mom, that God chooses special moms for kids with challenges…I can see that you know Charlie better than the doctors do, and that’s the way it should be. Such a lucky little boy, in the hands of his mommy and of God, his creator. Keep up the good work, and remember that you are never alone….

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  3. Tammy Grossmann says:

    I TOTALLY AGREE WITH your mother! You have shown the strength ,courage, & love for that little boy of yours that w/out you as his mother he would have never made it in this life! Like I have said before there are children in this world that pray to God to have a mother like you that is selfless & all about the wellbeing &care of your son! So take care & god bless you for being you! Sincerely, Tammy Grossmann

    Like

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